This is an excerpt from my notes on the life dreams of strippers, on horses and lying. This part of the book is mostly about three women who, in the novel, will be called Tessa, Trouble and Dragonfly… though this excerpt only mentions one of them in passing.
And it will mostly be about horses.
But considering most folks have read the HORSES story and I’ve discovered most of it was fabrication (sorry Shaggy… my bad, dawg), I’ve decided to leave that for another time and instead give y’all a little bit of a view on how a dancer dreams.
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Cowgirl Up
Dancers and their dreams.
One must have aspirations when they see themselves straddling not only the border of the erotic world but the shapes of hard cocks poorly concealed beneath gray sweatpants. It was rare when a girl would tell me she could see herself dancing for a long time. Most spoke of plans for school, plans for families, moving up and onwards and never stopping until any sign of black lights and strobes, stilettos and t-bars up the cracks of their asses, perverted bastards and love-struck paramour dumb fucks were well out of sight around the bends of memory and time.
But when I asked when the time would come that stripping would go the way of the dinosaur for them, a lot of the answers took similar forms.
The money is just so good, they would tell me. I couldn’t make this much at another job. Once I pay for school I’m gone.
Once I have my cosmetology license-
Once I have my paralegal degree-
Once I’m a pharmacy technician-
Once I’m a dental assistant-
Once I get into vet school-
Once my boyfriend gets a job that pays him what he deserves-
Every night they climb that pole, do their floorwork and tell themselves that the guy who just licked my nipple is helping fill the coffers and dreams and ideas and a nagging bug in their brains that screeches “Get out. Get out while you still can,”
Though, when I think back on it, I’m pretty sure most Den girls will throw the money right back at that guy, call him a cocksucking faggot and if they don’t hit him straight off, they’ll at least tell him to right fuck his mother in the most deviant, devious and derelict of ways.
These are How-The-West-Was-Won Girls, afterall. If you ever wondered how you could take your clothes off while drunk dicks heckle you and eighteen year old boys build fantasy kingdoms of you behind their doe eyes and still have respect for yourself, you’ve never talked to a woman from The Den before.
If you’ve ever wondered where the brothel and burlesque girls of the ancient world went, it’s not to those post-modern burlesque shows with showgirls named Carly Cupcake and Raleigh Reveille. No, the true downtrodden belles of the West aren’t spoiled college girls who put garters over gym-toned muscles and tease bros in university auditoriums between study sessions and drinking Barcadi in the kitchens of party houses.
You want to cowgirl up the right way? You go see Bailey dance on stage for you like you’re her long lost lover and the linoleum is your marriage bed. Watch Nightmare dance to songs with her name hidden within them and let her stare daggers through you. Let Brooklyn show you knuckles bruised and scabbed from punching someone who deserved it.
And out of the Cheyenne girls I can’t think of one who exemplifies being able to take your clothes off in front of friends, family and strangers alike and then come in the next day in street clothes and drink like a sailor without a modicum of shame better than Tessa.
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That’s all for today. More later this week.
nicoagrande 